I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
