Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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