I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
