Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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