You work out of a Hotel?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
