that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
