i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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