why didn't you poke me back
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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