WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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