Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize