so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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