Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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