the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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