dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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