I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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