i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
