Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
