I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
