Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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