So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
