I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
