When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize