I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
