People in love make me want to vomit
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
