we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
