I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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