saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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