Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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