Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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