Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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