you traded sex for a burrito?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
