There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
