whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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