When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
so much tequila, so little girl.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize