Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
