Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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