Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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