420 ftw
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We are all done wearing pants today
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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