i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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