Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
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I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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