I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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