please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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