The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
