Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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