im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
