It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize