i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
