Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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