Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
