I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
