Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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