I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize