i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
