she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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