you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize