Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
