Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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