I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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