You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
