My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
