why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
is that a dick in a sweater?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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