My first STD was from a foam party
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize