I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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